I’ve come to the point in my life where the length of my marriage could be a prison term for murder. That makes me feel old, and our marriage feel somewhere between a life partnership and a life sentence. It’s all about balance right!
One thing I know for sure, there has been a lot of yin and yang, waxing and waning within the flow of our marriage and lives and yet we are still in this boat together, paddling, sometimes upstream, but rowing together rather than against each other for the most part.
I can only think of our marriage, of love, and life in yin yang terms. Any marriage counsellor would tell you that you can’t go into a relationship thinking it will be all smooth and the sex always fantastic – that’s the ‘in love’ early stage of a relationship that doesn’t last 18 years, or doesn’t unless it evolves.
I’m no marriage counsellor, just one half a marriage that has survived good times and bad, and infertility and the long adoption process are up there in the ‘hard things to survive in a marriage stakes’.
Of course as Yin is identified as female and Yang male, ideally we should just balance each other out without it being a battle of the sexes. It’s not about opposites attracting, although I think there is something in that, but about each of us complimenting each other, each of us compromising and being prepared to change to balance our relationship and our lives. Balance isn’t about being perfect, but it does feel right.
I’ll freely admit Mr Yang is far better at finding peace and harmony than I am, and yet I’m the one who is always seeking it. He just seems to find an equilibrium in life, yet I’m the one who bangs on about balance. Perhaps I just need to look close to home, to the one I love most (along with my kids of course).
So here are a few ‘secrets’ to a balanced relationship, for what they are worth.
Maths was never my strong suit, but I reckon these equations add up.
As does a night ‘on parole’ – a night away from the kids to remind us of how to do the maths.
So cheers Mr Yang to 18 years, to life. And here’s hoping you can balance out the yin and yang in the love in your life. Linking up with the lovely Jess for I Blog on Tuesdays.