60 seconds with your inner critic

Kathy Krugercontentment, find your flow, guilt13 Comments

LoserSmiley

Seriously, after a minute with your inner critic you should have un-friended her.

Instead she’s sitting at the top of your Facebook feed posting stuff like: “Your life is soooo boring, no-one has even liked let alone shared your latest post and probably hardly anyone has even seen it because while they haven’t un-friended you (out of politeness), you’re not in their list of preferred friends so you hardly every show up in their feed – Loser.”

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This is just a ‘draft’ post, but you get the idea

She’s tweeting snark at all hours. 140 characters can certainly bite. #You’llneverbegoodenough,#Loser,#Justgiveup.

And look at her – posting the most unflattering selfies to Instagram.

I'm still this red after having a shower

‘Attractive’ hot yoga photo – I’m still this red after having a shower!

If she gets a hold of your you-tube account she’ll create a looping reel of constant criticism – this is one feedback loop you don’t need in your life!

Frankly, there’s enough negativity on social media without inviting your inner critic to the party. But whenever you jump on social media she’s there. Has she stolen your profile? 

It’s not enough to be confronted with other people’s perfect lives, or to cop criticism for your views if you dare to buy into online debates.

Nope, no-one else, no matter how perfect their pictures or posts, can make you feel as inadequate as your own inner critic. Even the nasty trolls can find their match in your inner bitch – she can be that bad!

So what can you do?

Is comparison feeding your inner critic?

Stop feeding her for a start.

Whenever you give yourself the opportunity to compare yourself with someone else, you give your inner critic a soapbox (or in modern terms, the chance to spam your social media feeds).

She’ll filter anything and everything through envious, contemptuous and disgruntled eyes.

And then when you shut down the screen, she’ll replay the comparisons, over and over again, until you are not only convinced everyone else is leading a perfect life, but certain that you can never live up to your own (inner critic) expectations.

No-one else, by letting their light shine, can cast as big a shadow on your own hopes and dreams as your inner critic can.

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We can blame social media and how it presents sanitised versions of life for making us feel inadequate, even as we ‘curate’ our own posts to put our best face forward (only to have our inner mean girl criticise our lame efforts to look good).

So quit the curation of your life and your concern for what others think. Quit the comparison of your own life with other’s carefully styled versions of themseslves. Quit comparing your life – good and bad – with other’s lives – good and bad (online and offline).

Sure your mean girl will still bring up old stuff, ad nauseum. But it will get stale soon without the fodder of fresh comparison.

Watch your inner critic slink to the corner with nothing left to say. It may not happen in 60 seconds, but start that conversation.

Linking up with Essentially Jess for IBOT. Do you feed your inner critic with too much comparison?

Namaste sign off_edited-1

 

Kathy X

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Kathy Kruger60 seconds with your inner critic

13 Comments on “60 seconds with your inner critic”

  1. Vanessa

    I share pretty openly on social media. I get a little bored with sanitised feeds and frankly, if I’m cranky, I’m cranky. If I’m happy, I’m happy. That’s life. It might not make me a brand but it does make me a human.

  2. Emily M Morgan (@EmilyMMorganMe)

    Urgh, I hate that girl! I am getting much better at not listening to her, I have to say. And part of that’s being around people who are uplifting rather than either uncaring or downright pessimistic (not just about you but about themselves and everything else). It makes such a big difference who you are with.

  3. EssentiallyJess

    Love this Kathy.
    My inner critic isn’t often there on social media, but she shows up in lots of other places. I’m getting better at giving her the boot but sometimes she still gets more air time than she should.

  4. Renee Wilson

    My inner critic is a total be-atch. I wish she’d just leave me the f@#k alone. Honestly, I’m terribly down on myself at the moment about my weight and looks. I need to get out of this slump. Thanks for the reminder xx

  5. Tegan

    I do feed my inner critic with comparison but I feed it with past versions of myself, forgetting that I am at a different point in my life.

  6. Robyna May

    I have gotten better at silencing my inner critic by being grateful for what I have. I find that gratitude and reflection are good ways to combat the icky comparisons.

  7. Deborah

    My inner critic mostly stays hidden from others… only visiting me when I’m my most vulnerable. More than anything she stops me from doing a lot of stuff… (Nasty cow!)

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