A definition of success

Kathy Krugerfind your flow, happiness, love34 Comments

Success, like balance, means different things to different people. I’m pretty sure it doesn’t mean money and power, but society begs to differ. I’m pretty sure it has a whole lot to do with love and that it can be simple, humble – wouldn’t you agree?

Success can be one glass of wine instead of three after a long day of wrangling kids or work or that ‘special’ combination of wrangling work with kids. Success is definitely in the willpower to skip the wine altogether. I’m enjoying that kind of success more these days and feeling better for it.

Success can be this – a spotless laundry. No maybe that’s more like a miracle.

On International Women’s Day (IWD), after hubby did some renos in our laundry – new tub, tiling, painting, we managed to get every last bit of washing done, and all the folding too. Clean laundry, clean clothes – WOO HOO – success. (Of course you know how long that lasted, but a girl has got to stop to smell the Sard wonder soap sometimes).

Funnily enough, despite my feminist beliefs, I opted for a ‘domestic bliss’ version of celebrating success on International Women’s Day.

Brunch, baking and sushi and broccoli soup making.

Now I’m not saying these small domestic ‘achievements’ make me ‘successful’ as such, but who is to say they don’t. She with the cleanest house and best baked treats doesn’t win, but still success doesn’t have to be the corner office at work or a big pile of cash (which would be nice, the cash, but I digress).

I managed to fit in a yoga class (because I always try to manage my life around fitting in yoga), and hubby took the kids to a boating and camping show for a couple of hours, so I did pretty darn well on the ‘me’ time front. Success. It was very nice of IWD to fall on a Sunday, for those of us in the first world lucky to enjoy it.

I played a couple of games with Little Yang and helped with homework with Miss Yin and both ‘helped’ me in the kitchen with the sushi (half-half sushi rice with quinoa – a revelation).

Could I have spent more time with the kids – of course.

Could I spend more time caring, campaigning for the rights of women and girls – of course. On IWD I thought of our sponsor girl, and the other young girls like her who are victims of terrible sexual abuse in Kenya – you can help out Rafiki Mwema who are helping the girls. On IWD I though of the women making a difference in their own lives and their communities through the support of KIVA loans (the loans we’ve made have all been to empower women).

On IWD I admit to thinking of the unfairness of workplaces that say they are flexible but then pigeon-hole you as a part-time Mum, and the sad irony that we women can be our own worst enemies. Then in typical female-style I immediately felt bad for even thinking about the glass ceiling and workplace inequality, when other women, young girls, are fighting for safety, shelter, food, their very lives.

But back to success – success would be genuine gender equality. Man, Oh Woman, that would be a huge success.

Success is bringing up confident, empathetic and resilient kids – especially daughters who know they can do anything. Huge success.

IWD was over a week ago, and the rights of women fade quickly into the fabric and drudgery of every day life.

The fundamental right of all women, and all people, should be to love and be loved, and that is also the measure of success I’d like to live by.

You are successful when you love and are loved – there is no other definition of success that comes close.

Linking up with Essentially Jess for another IBOT.  And because I haven’t been successful in writing another blog post this week, also linking up with Grace for FYBF. How do you define success? How did you spend IWD?

Namaste sign off_edited-1



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Kathy KrugerA definition of success

34 Comments on “A definition of success”

  1. Michelle@myslowlivingadventure

    The whole gender equality thing is such a sensitive issue for most women on the domestic front. I try and just embrace it. It’s there, I’m often the only one there, I do it! You are right about success and love being intertwined. There is nothing truer. On the cooking front. I’ve started making sushi with no grains at all, just veges and whatever else you normally put in sushi. Grated carrot forms the outside rice layer. It’s good!!

    1. Kathy Kruger

      That is interesting the carrot sushi. Hubby actually does a lot around our house (I hardly ever do the floors for instance). I just think we have to create new measures of success to suit our circumstances. If it was as a domestic goddess then I’d be a failure really, with patches of ‘brilliance’ and on the work front I have a good job, but not the career job I’ve had previously. Hopefully when it comes to love I do alright.

  2. Deborah

    I’m struggling a little at the moment so success does involve the little things: doing the washing; grocery shopping; writing a blog post. I like that it can mean different things to different people!

    1. Kathy Kruger

      Success can be cumulative – lots of little things I reckon. I actually didn’t write this blog post until the morning I shared it (got up at 5am), so sometimes it really does feel like an achievement to get a blog post out.

  3. Luisa @ Looking for mama me

    Great read and great message! I definitely have no idea what success is for me at the moment! Its why I started my blog though. I had a baby and then lost sight of my future outside of motherhood. I don’t know when I’ll feel I am successful. I think its something a lot of us struggle with. We can do so much and still not feel we have done enough.

    1. Kathy Kruger

      You are so right Luisa and losing sight of your future is so common when you get consumed by motherhood. Thanks for visiting and looking forward to reading your blog.

  4. Denise

    I love it Kathy and I completely agree with your definition of success. If I had to base my notion of how successful I am on how well I do on the work, cooking or laundry front most days, I’d be stuffed.

    1. Kathy Kruger

      Same here Denise – totally stuffed – the laundry was a rarity – although I have been more on top of it since the reno. Success for me is balance I guess, I just have to keep defining what that means for me.

  5. EssentiallyJess

    My birthday is IWD and I quite often forget the significance of it. I like your definition of success though. That all people should be loved and able to love. That’s a good way of defining it.

  6. mummywifeme

    Great post, Kathy, and great definitions of success throughout. If I live a life full of love and do my best to raise my children to the best of my ability then I will feel I have achieved success too 🙂

  7. Erika @ Ever-changing Life of a Mum

    Lovely post. The definition of success is different for every person. Success is whatever you want it to be, it’s what is important to you that makes something successful or not. For me right now, it’s the opportunity to enjoy the little things and spend more time with my family, but looking back there was a time when I measured success very differently.

  8. Kirsty @ Smarter Happier

    Some very salient points on what success could look like, particularly in light of IWD. I wrote a post on what success means a few weeks back, based on a TEDTalk that really grabbed me. The speaker turned the idea of success on it’s head and asked whether success is everything (in it’s fleetingness) or should it be the near-misses that we celebrate as they drive us forward and encourage us to do better? Linking to it here in case you are interested in reading more: http://smarterhappier.com/is-success-everything-in-life/

    1. Kathy Kruger

      Thanks Kirsty – I’ve just popped over and read your post now and I really like the idea of the long haul of mastery rather than the short-lived success measure. Thanks for keeping me thinking on this subject.

  9. toniazemek

    Top post Kathy. You’re sooooo right. Success comes in all shapes and sizes and ALL of them should be celebrated. Thanks for getting me thinking….such a thought provoking post. Have a good weekend. x

  10. Bec @ The Plumbette

    A clean house and baked treats are a successful day to me. It’s sad that IWD is celebrated but then it’s message is kind of lost when back to the reality of life. I will still work at promoting equal opportunity in the trades nevertheless. 🙂

  11. Emily @ Have A Laugh On Me

    Kathy I am in awe of you right now. I do hope one day I can have none instead of one and eat as fantastic as you do. You are such an inspiration and have found your amazing groove. Thanks for the ‘thinking’ post! xx

  12. Tegan Churchill

    As you said, I think that success means different things to different people. I also think that success means different things to us depending on where we are in our life or even our day. I know for me when I am having a less than stellar week, I peel things back to basics and focus on the things that I did instead of the things I didn’t. I have a list with my psychologist that we check each appointment to see how I am doing. At the start of the session on Friday I said that I had a feeling I wasn’t doing well at all. After going through all of the list, it turns out that I wasn’t doing as bad as I thought I was.

    1. Kathy Kruger

      That’s great way to track progress and give yourself a pat on the back even when you think you aren’t doing so well. It is nice to be positively surprised with the little increments.

  13. Zanni

    Some of my happiest, well-spent days are the simplest. Often they are just spent at home, doodling around, while children play in the own worlds. That feels like success to me. Also, getting a manuscript accepted for publication. Or getting good feedback on one of the courses I run. Or people liking our songs. I guess success has lots of shapes and sizes.

    1. Kathy Kruger

      Lots of success to celebrate for you Zanni and perhaps that’s the answer – marking the small things alongside the large so that it isn’t always about big milestones.

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