What it means to be family

Kathy Krugeradoption, happiness, love, motherhood, perspective, red thread29 Comments

This past weekend I spent time with both sides of my extended family – something that rarely happens. I hadn’t seen my brother, sister, brother-in-law, niece and nephews since Christmas – we can’t believe where the time went. Does the first third of the year always disappear faster than the others?

Kathy KrugerWhat it means to be family

Letter to a birth mother

Kathy Krugeradoption, China, love, motherhood, red thread12 Comments

How do you find the right words to say – that’s what I’m struggling with this mother’s day as I think of my children’s birthmothers. I’ve previously shared a letter I wrote to our daughter’s birthmother that I penned almost 9 years ago (it’s on this page, but I’ve copied it below). I found the ‘right’ words then, but they … Read More

Kathy KrugerLetter to a birth mother

Sweet Sixteen

Kathy Krugeradoption, IVF, motherhood, perspective10 Comments

You would have been turning sweet sixteen right about now. Although you may have been a boy, so I wouldn’t be calling you sweet (handsome perhaps, whispered, lest anyone hear). In my dreams I imagined calling you strong, resilient, compassionate, confident – regardless of your gender. In my dreams I imagined calling you my child. I will never know.

Kathy KrugerSweet Sixteen

Perfect expectations

Kathy Krugeradoption, guilt, IVF, motherhood23 Comments

Perfection has to be the most impossible of expectations yet I have burdened myself with it. Not, thankfully, in every area of my life, or I might just have sacrificed my sanity. I’m quite Ok with not having the house spotless (or even close), and with being on the lax side of the grooming (although not hygiene) department. In any … Read More

Kathy KrugerPerfect expectations

Resilience

Kathy Krugeradoption, fear, gratitude, motherhood32 Comments

So we found ourselves in beautiful Lennox Head, Northern NSW. It was a muggy and overcast Monday night – our family three instead of four. It felt strange. Little Yang enjoyed a promised pink drink as we nursed nerves with our beers and a pub meal. Nearby our family’s missing limb was playing games with her friends, laughing, telling stories … Read More

Kathy KrugerResilience

Adoption awareness week

Kathy Krugeradoption, motherhood22 Comments

I hesitate to write this, because adoption can be so divisive. But in my heart and soul, I can’t see why it divides, and so I can’t see why I shouldn’t write my open, honest opinions, born (no pun intended) of our experiences. I’m no expert, just someone doing the best they can. And this what I know. All adoption … Read More

Kathy KrugerAdoption awareness week

The moral of the story

Kathy Krugeradoption, happiness, motherhood10 Comments

Nine years ago today our daughter came into our lives to howls of protest (hers) and tears of joy (ours). Her face said it all, her cries the loudest in a room deafened by the chorus of crying of six Chinese babies about to begin lives as Chinese-Australian girls.

Kathy KrugerThe moral of the story

A tale of three bears

Kathy Krugeradoption, guilt, IVF, motherhood9 Comments

Teddy bears are worth holding onto for (dear) life – you are never too old. Some things don’t serve you, like guilt, and shame and old socks and you just need to let them go, but not a treasured teddy. A teddy (or two or three) can take you through life’s lowest lows. You see when we think of favourite … Read More

Kathy KrugerA tale of three bears

Just love – you don’t need proof

Kathy Krugeradoption, China, motherhood, perspective, red thread14 Comments

There is only one photo! Well, there are two, but they are the same photo, basically, just taken from a slightly different angle, snapped seconds apart….it doesn’t count. I will call it one photograph, as though the two images could merge into one, seamlessly, and no one would ever see the difference. See what I mean? There’s another photo, of … Read More

Kathy KrugerJust love – you don’t need proof

The little baby with the big smile

Kathy Krugeradoption, China, gratitude, motherhood, red thread5 Comments

I’ve previously shared what I wrote about the day we met our daughter 9 years ago, so thought I’d share the experience of meeting our son. Happy Mother’s Day to all Mums. More than six years after adopting our Katelin Jiachang we welcomed our Liam Chi Jie into our lives, with our good friends alongside us welcoming siblings for their beautiful daughters…the … Read More

Kathy KrugerThe little baby with the big smile

Do you ever get over infertility?

Kathy Krugeradoption, gratitude, guilt, IVF, motherhood, perspective31 Comments

Do you ever get over the death of a loved one? Do you ever fully recover after trauma, or accident, or a life-threatening illness? Does divorce always leave love a little (or a lot) broken for you? Does financial loss always leave you feeling poor? Does failure always leave you feeling a failure? When you get a second chance, renewed … Read More

Kathy KrugerDo you ever get over infertility?

Not another baby shower

Kathy Krugeradoption, contentment, gratitude, guilt, IVF, motherhood, red thread2 Comments

I should start by saying it was beautiful, just as the baby who will be my great niece or nephew (OMG) will no doubt be beautiful.  It’s been a while between baby showers (if not drinks). And they get easier, they really do, but still…. Ok – first to address my faux horror at being a Great Aunt (by marriage I must … Read More

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Kathy KrugerNot another baby shower