It was five years ago when the last leg of the long journey took us across the spectacular Columbia Icefield in Canada, through some of the most beautiful scenery you could imagine. Appropriate that the final road we travelled was winding, because the protracted path to that point could hardly have had more twists and turns, dead ends, detours and … Read More
Blood tests and beating fear
Are you sitting down? Good. So maybe you hate getting blood tests. Maybe you’re getting all squeamish just thinking about it. Perhaps the thought of a needle makes you faint. Sorry for reminding you. Perhaps you’d better skip to the bottom of the post. A casual conversation reminded me about blood tests. In fact two separate conversations in the space … Read More
The secret to a 20 year marriage, more or less
Shortly after I push publish on this post, I’ll be heading off to a quiet little cottage in the Northern NSW countryside for two glorious nights of R & R. And I should add, SEX. I should say WE too, because it isn’t much of a wedding anniversary without your partner and sex is hardly the same. Two year’s ago … Read More
Never forget anniversaries
This week marks two major anniversaries in my life – the 10th anniversary of adopting our beautiful daughter (23rd) and the 16th anniversary of losing our baby (ectopic pregnancy) on the 18th. It feels strange, and I guess quite yin-yang in a way, for these two occasions to fall so closely together. We also received ‘the call’ to match us … Read More
Let’s talk about infertility and pregnancy loss
We’re talking about it, at least a lot more than we used to. When I was struggling with infertility (I’m still infertile, but it’s a moot point these days), I felt so isolated. I isolated myself. Of course I knew I wasn’t alone – I’d meet plenty of women at the fertility clinic, faces that I’d barely scan and could … Read More
Sweet Sixteen
You would have been turning sweet sixteen right about now. Although you may have been a boy, so I wouldn’t be calling you sweet (handsome perhaps, whispered, lest anyone hear). In my dreams I imagined calling you strong, resilient, compassionate, confident – regardless of your gender. In my dreams I imagined calling you my child. I will never know.
Perfect expectations
Perfection has to be the most impossible of expectations yet I have burdened myself with it. Not, thankfully, in every area of my life, or I might just have sacrificed my sanity. I’m quite Ok with not having the house spotless (or even close), and with being on the lax side of the grooming (although not hygiene) department. In any … Read More
What’s the hardest thing you could be grateful for?
What do a) spilt milk, b) a parking ticket, c) Brussel sprouts d) Nits have in common? Pretty hard to be grateful for! A little while ago I wrote a post about practising gratitude for ‘the love of it’ – not just because it’s something you feel you should do (like eating greens). I spoke of gratitude as being something … Read More
Bruised ego
My ego is bruised, rather badly. But I’ll be OK because my soul is fine (apart from the scars it already has from our infertility journey, but they’ve just made me stronger – you know scar tissue can’t bleed anymore). When we always feed our ego, we starve our soul. And you wouldn’t want your soul to go hungry. I’m … Read More
Of creativity and patience
I used to mosaic – as in cut up tiny pieces of tiles and lay them at random and in patterns to create beautiful (if I do say so myself) ‘works of art’ – pots, mirrors, picture frames, table tops.
A tale of three bears
Teddy bears are worth holding onto for (dear) life – you are never too old. Some things don’t serve you, like guilt, and shame and old socks and you just need to let them go, but not a treasured teddy. A teddy (or two or three) can take you through life’s lowest lows. You see when we think of favourite … Read More
Attack of the horrormones
Watch out world! I’m suffering an attack of the ‘horrormones’ and I can’t be held responsible for who I attack as a result. Well that’s my excuse anyway. (Horrormones are hormones on steroids – I came across this non-medical but perfectly accurate term when we were doing IVF and I was partaking of lovely hormonal cocktail each cycle – well actually … Read More
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