Feeling defeated

Kathy Krugerbalance, perspective10 Comments

Often it’s not one thing, but a series of things that bring you to your knees. The cumulative effect. Sometimes it feels like the universe just wants to knock you while you’re down.  While you are weakened, life delivers a killer punch.

The universe has been raining down blows on me for the last two weeks.

There was the big blow of missing out on a job I deserved, then the indignity of being asked to act in the role anyway until the guy who was given it comes from overseas in January.  I picked myself up and decided to be gracious in accepting the temporary role (on my terms) because I’m dedicated to the project and don’t want to be a sore loser.

Then yesterday I had a much of a program of work I’ve planned in my existing role questioned and ‘criticised’ – I know it’s not personal and it’s in the nature of my workplace for this to happen. Regardless I’m feeling a little defeated. Deflated.

A friend is feeling defeated too – punch-drunk.

So I thought I could write a post to help us both rise above that feeling of being beaten down – writing, along with wine, being my preferred means of working through the crap.

A great post from Home Life Simplified got me started.  Deb talks about realising that many ‘bad’ things that happen to us are often not about us at all – we take criticism personally, when it says much more about the person criticising, we miss out on a job not because we are ‘bad’ but because someone else is ‘good’, because the people making the decision define good in their own way – what is right for them doesn’t make us ‘wrong’.

Missing out on a job, dissatisfaction at work, redundancy, are powerful reminders from the universe that we are much more than our position descriptions or any one role we play. Even the most important roles we have in life, as parents and partners, can’t define us.

The ‘bad’ blows are also signs from the universe for us to change.  I reckon when the universe keeps knocking us down it is a strong signal that we should do something different when we get up again. 

One blow will unsteady you, but might not be enough to get you to veer from your current course. When you are beaten down you have to be really strong to get up.  Life gives you losses and lessons that are balanced out by the gift of strength. It’s always about balance.

When life beats you down, the universe will lift you up in equal measure – because you have been given all the strength you need to get up yourself.

(In fact I reckon the universe is pretty generous because it gives you so much strength, you get to rise up higher than you ever thought you could).

Today is the first day of a new month, and also the ‘Forever Day’ anniversary for our son. This day three years ago life made a new start for a little Chinese baby boy and for us. We are so lucky.

Anything is possible.

(Linking up for FYBF at With Some Grace and with much gratitude for some lovely comments and  support over the last couple of weeks).




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Kathy KrugerFeeling defeated

10 Comments on “Feeling defeated”

  1. Me

    Oh Kathy, it’s so hard when it feels like everything is conspiring against us. I love how you are turning that into a positive – how you look for the good in the bad.
    Happy Forever Day to All of You xox
    I hope that you get a chance to recharge your batteries this weekend and that you come out stronger and more resilient soon.
    Love, hugs and positive energy !

    1. Kathy Kruger

      Thanks Linda – your support is always appreciated and the weekend (which was insanely busy but totally family focused) provided just the perspective I needed.

  2. Eleise

    What a lovely post, I wrote something similar but you put it so much better. Happy Forever Day. The universe truely is give and take and understanding what we have.

  3. Leanne Winter

    Gorgeous photo and great post, Kathy. A very happy Forever Day to you all. Yes, so important to keep rejection in perspective. It is hard when it’s one blow after another though, isn’t it? I know it’s a cliché but I try to remind myself of all those doing it tougher than I.

  4. Caz @ Home Heart Haven

    Happy Forever Day (I always feel like giving your little man a cuddle as he is just delicious!) and so sorry to hear how you’re feeling. I was interested in how you described the blows as a message to change. Some time ago I think I would have felt that as criticism – that I had to change because I was ‘wrong’. Thankfully my journey over the past year has helped me find a new perspective – something else is going to be ‘right’ for me. Maybe that is going to be the case for you too?

    1. Kathy Kruger

      Hi Caz – I really agree with you – if we dis-associate change with being about fixing what we’ve done wrong and make it about finding what will be better for us then I reckon we might have the secret to achieving our dreams, helped by the strength we’ve gained through ‘rejection’ and disappointment.

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