How my daughter taught me to chase my dreams again

Kathy Krugerfind your flow, happiness, motherhood35 Comments

Flying high

I don’t know whether it’s just me, but I wonder why when we become parents, and particularly as we start to age (well we’re doing that our whole lives!) we start envisaging the future for our kids instead of for ourselves.

Naturally we are going to have dreams for our children, what parent wouldn’t – and we are going to sacrifice some of our own ambitions to help our kids achieve theirs. Most parents are prepared to compromise on their goals (it’s part of the gig), but that doesn’t or shouldn’t mean ignoring our own dreams completely. And it doesn’t mean transferring your own dreams to your children so you can live vicariously through their successes (I’m no stage mum and definitely not one of those Dance Moms).

It can be too easy to fall into the ‘martyr’ trap of putting your children first, denying yourself the chance to chase your own dreams when really what you are doing is succumbing to your fear of failure. You can make the excuse that the day-to-day joy and sheer importance of raising empathetic, resilient and happy kids is ‘living the dream’ and going after anything for yourself is selfish or somehow diminishes the role of parenting.

You can, as I’ve been doing, visualize a bright and clear future for your kids while your own place in their future, your own future itself, remains clouded and murky at best.

I have to try hard to envision my own future, while my mind’s eye is crystal – Miss Yin shining up on stage, having blossomed into the beautiful dancer she is becoming. It is a picture of such clarity that I feel like I am willing it into reality.

She’s the one putting in the work, pursuing the passion, believing in herself because life hasn’t taught her yet that some things are impossible, and because we’re teaching her that anything is possible if only she believes. And she’s being resilient even when her dance group doesn’t place at an eisteddfod, because that’s what belief is all about.

The dream is the dance. The dance is the dream. And her self-belief is the music inside her.

And wham, just like that, as Miss Yin auditioned for a Dance Excellence program for high school last week it struck me (after I came back down to earth from swelling with pride). I need to believe in myself, not just in Miss Yin. I need to dream even when things don’t seem possible. I need to put in the hard work (and stop making excuses) and get crystal clear on my passions. I need to be resilient and empathetic (staring with some self-love) in order to truly value my own happiness and cut myself some slack as I chase my dreams. I need to not give up before I even start.

Our kids teach us a lot don’t they?

Indulge me now – Miss Yin rehearsing for the audition (she did beautifully).

YouTube Preview Image

Sigh!

Linking up with Essentially Jess because it’s IBOT and Grace for FYBF and because it is the weekend linking with the lovelies Son, Bron and Kelly too.

What lessons have your kids taught you lately? What dreams are you chasing for yourself (or your kids)?

Namaste sign off_edited-1 Kathy X

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Kathy KrugerHow my daughter taught me to chase my dreams again

35 Comments on “How my daughter taught me to chase my dreams again”

  1. Min (@riteofthemiddle)

    Watching your Miss Yan dance brought me to tears Kathy! So beautiful! I always teared up watching my own daughter dance too. There’s something so vulnerable and beautiful about it that touches me so much. You’re right, as parents it becomes all about our dreams for our kids and rightly so but I don’t really think too much about myself. I’ve been giving it a go though these last few years .. 😉 x

  2. Deborah

    Oh, how exciting for your daughter! And it’s very true… we can learn lessons from our kids or other children etc. Their souls and confidence are yet to be destroyed by society and our own fears of failure etc…

    1. Kathy Kruger

      It is exciting and thankfully she doesn’t see the obstacles to success, which are pretty big in the world of professional dancing for a girl. How to keep that innocent love and passion alive, nurture resilience and set her up to succeed?!

  3. JodiGibson (@JFGibsonWriter)

    What a beautiful young dancer she is, you should be so proud. And you are exactly right. Our kids teach us so much, when we really let them. I always try and remind myself to keep some focus on my own dreams and goals to show my girls that working hard and dreaming big is okay. x

  4. This Charming Mum

    Miss Yin is amazing! You should certainly be proud. But your other points are excellent. They certainly do teach us a lot – and sometimes it’s the most unexpected things.

  5. Jo

    Oh, you should be proud. In a way I guess it’s like the oxygen in the plane thing- you have to look after yourself in order to look after others. I think the same applies to dreams, how can you nurture those your children have if you don’t respect your own? My daughter is 17 now, and it seems more & more as if what I’m fighting for is to keep that light glowing bright.

  6. mummywifeme

    Ahh what a beautiful little dancer she is and what a lovely song that is! I love this post, Kathy. I’ve been guilty of putting my dreams on hold because I think that now is not the right time for me and I need to focus on the kids. This is a good reminder for me to not forget about me. Good luck with your dreams :)

  7. Liz

    Wow, Miss Yin is so graceful and a lovely dancer. My daughter always reminds me to slow down and enjoy what we are doing.. in the present. My dream is to become a yoga teacher but I’m happy to take it slowly around being a mum. Good on you for chasing your dreams too

    1. Kathy Kruger

      I reckon the best dreams we follow are the ones we work around our family – they may take longer but it makes them more worthwhile. You’ll get there with the yoga teaching.

  8. lifeloveandhiccups

    Oh Kathy she is so beautiful your girl.. and so incredibly graceful. I always thought I would be the one teaching my kids and yet it seems they are more often than not the ones teaching me xx

  9. Kathy Kruger

    Thanks Sonia – I get impressed by my kids bravery to try new things – I guess that’s what childhood is all about because there is so much learning and that’s why they can teach us when we learn/try new things less in adulthood.

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