It’s toilet training!
I know I’m all serious about balance and contentment and gratitude and harmony etc etc. But underneath all that sobriety (you can laugh now) I’m giggling inside. But it’s toilet training!
No laughing matter, you might say, but one has to chuckle (to paraphrase the Queen – can you imagine her actually toilet training Charles…eeehhh?… Queen: How awfully improper – there is royal piddle all over the carpet, but my dear heir, I refuse to even entertain any excrement.)
So I’m laughing – because we are out of undies. The pile in the tub in the laundry is well, piling up.
I have been at work all day (very, very busy) while Mr Yang has been dealing with kids and dinner and then I get home and drink wine and check facebook, because I’m so stressed, you understand. (NB: in this less than serious post – I am actually quite busy at work).
Little Yang is actually going very, very well with the ‘pees’ (code No 1’s) but less well with poos (code No 2’s).
We dedicated our Christmas/New Year holidays (well hubby worked as a fire fighter for most of that period and I went back to work after New Year) to toilet training. We stayed close to home. On high alert, ready and waiting. Little Yang’s favourite saying became ‘Oh Dear’!
And then I missed it!! It could have been the wine (most probably – and I had intended going to Hot Yoga like I did last night, but did I mention that work is stressful and quite busy).
Code 1 – which should mean a clean dash to the toilet and the toddler seat in position and then….perfect flow.
Instead I ignored the whining, dismissed it as general whinging, and the pee pooled in a piddle all over the carpet.
It is not the first accident (where do I start – I had to lauch at Little Yang washing out offending wet undies and shorts in the water feature), but the first one I feel truly and utterly responsible for. I am mortified. Pour more wine.
Code 2’s continue to pose a problem. Note to Little Yang – a fart in no way qualifies as a poo!
Don’t make me sit at the toilet bowl, cheerfully chatting and encouraging the waterworks or the plops unless something is actually going to end up in the toilet.
Last night Mr Yang put Little Yang to bed and forgot!!!! to put a nappy (diaper) on!!!! (how is this even possible?) So at precisely 3.23am Little Yang came into our room, all upset and flabbergasted (as you would be). Mr Yang did not stir from his slumber. Mummy did the honours.
I changed Little Yang (for someone who can actually poo in his undies, his extreme intolerance for even a slight dribble of pee in his pants is quite remarkable) and did the whole lie-down-and-sing-a-song-and-admire-the-stars-on-the-ceiling-of-the-room-thing. A special few moments in the middle of the night, since we are used to (luckily) our Little Yang sleeping through these days. I savoured it! No I really did.
I’m very, very proud of our little man, who at almost 3 years old, must be sufficiently toilet trained by the end of the school holidays in order to progress (naturally) to Senior Kindy (imagine being senior at anything, aged three!).
We have less than three weeks to go, and I’m feeling confident. I’ll back him in.
If you look at in straight No 1/2 terms then we have a way to go (we are only 50% there). But with extra points for enthusiasm and the sheer frequency of peeing, we are at least 80% over the line. Or in the toilet.
I’m sure we will accomplish the other 20% and one still 2-year-old will be sufficiently trained to assume his proper duty in life (Senior Kindy) without besmirching or our name (as though it has ever been regaled).
If not I might put a call into Her Majesty for some advice!
NB: I wish to thank the very talented Kerri Sackville and her blog ‘Life and Other Crises’ (sounds like something we all could write about). Reading and commenting on her very funny posts has inspired this humour in me that perhaps some (including myself) doubted even existed. Toilet training will do that too. In the spirit of the New Year I’m letting in more humour and laughter.
You can laugh now (or feel sorry for me, Little Yang is calling again!). Muuummmm!
PS – When I ‘tagged’ this post under ‘go with the flow’ I had to laugh again!