Happy Valentine’s Day.
I’m working today, my parents are staying over tonight and preparations are in full swing for Little Yang’s 4th birthday pirate and pool party tomorrow (although he hasn’t been feeling very well, poor mite) – can’t see any chance for romance and I doubt there will be sex.
I’m tired. We’re tired. I’d go so far to say worn out but I know it’s just a stage. Isn’t it?
Last year I wrote about doing 18 years to life – on the occasion of our 18th wedding anniversary. Marriage felt like a balance between intimacy and distance, peace and battle. Coming up to 19 years not much has changed – if anything I’ve become grumpier, more of a nag. If anything, we take each other for granted more. I know that has to stop.
But love, maybe not the schmaltzy, greeting card variety is there, even in the cracks.
Inspired by our recent trip to Japan I thought I’d write an ode to the sort of love that gets weary but doesn’t wear out and comes back refreshed and does that whole cycle of the seasons of love over again.
So it’s a Haiku poem, 3 lines, 17 syllables in the traditional 5-7-5 form.
By nature love grows
old in Autumn and Winter
Spring is new again
Yep, short and (bitter)sweet. But sweet still.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m not a poet and I know it.
But then I remembered I did write a poem (this being an extremely rare thing). I wrote it over a year ago, reflectively, to kick off my then brand new notebook – and it was all about love.
So in the spirit of NOT avoiding embarrassment that I showed in my last post, here goes:
It’s eternal but in what form?
Does it hold its shape around a relationship
Fixed in a firm embrace?
Is there are pulling away
Less skin, less touch, less feeling?
Does it tatter at the edges
An old, comfortable jumper
worn, worn out?
Old slippers, taken for granted
until the holes let in the cold
Does it fray away?
Does it shiver alone?
Does it find warmth again
against the bitter chill?
Pull close in a new embrace?
Is there a coming together?
Old skin, new touch, familiar feeling?
It lasts forever but does it stay the same?
Loosening its hold on relationships
Letting in, letting go
Settling into companionship
Making spaces for silence
Yet never alone
May you be surrounded by love this Valentine’s Day in whatever form from those you love, and may you feel it welling up from inside, because that’s where it starts.
Perhaps a good place to start is to write a love letter to yourself, as I did in this post.
As Brene Brown wisely says, our love for others can never be greater than our self-acceptance.
Linked up with a loved-up Grace for FYBF.