Have you ever felt so embarrassed you could die?
I’m betting you have, in that pre-teen or teenage OMG melodramatic way, when the worst thing in the world that could possibly happen happened, and mortified, you thought you would die (only here you are, years later, alive and kicking).
A ‘heavy period’ accident springs to my mind and I cringe and feel myself redden even still.
Of course that prickly, uncomfortable sense of shame has struck since, but I’ve managed to realise that I will probably survive.
And sometimes I’ve even realised that I have nothing really to be ashamed of.
Right now I’m red-faced a lot from hot yoga (I managed a nine-day straight marathon of classes, before breaking for a couple of days and I’m now back into it).
So I thought I’d post my red faced photo, by way of saying I’m a little bit embarrassed about my blog of late, or my inability to come up with inspiration for it (perspiration on the other hand is flowing freely – I apologise to my yoga class if my sweat released the following toxins: wine, chocolate, wine, wine, chocolate and the odd Japanese fried bun).
This lack of inspiration motivation is despite setting up a new home office for myself in our bedroom, complete with brand new IMac and don’t you just love my snowy forest wall mural! I should be oozing calm and inspiration, especially after our Japanese holiday.
I’m convinced that inspiration ebbs and flows, in a yin yang way, and right now is just a particularly low tide. A high tide will follow.
So apart from some rather lame thoughts (how embarrassing), I thought I’d offer a montage of photos that will no doubt prove suitably humiliating for Little Yang should they surface (as they likely will) on his 21st birthday.
We are celebrating his 4th birthday this week.
Oh the shame (and lots of fun) of having an older sister. Here’s Little Yang, red-faced from the lipstick he was encouraged to smear all over his face.
This one remains a firm favourite from 18 months ago (love those ballet hands).
Love the tongue-poking-out look when you ride your first ferris wheel.
I don’t think he’s so sure about the crazy hair, which didn’t really cheer him up from his cold.
And not too sure either about hamming it up – like father, like son.
And the piece de resistance.
I wonder how long it will be before embarrassment kicks in to stifle Little Yang’s imagination, spontaneity, fashion sense? Why do our kids become so inhibited by our world?
Would’t you rather be imaginative, spontaneous, even quirky and embarrassed than none of those things?
I can’t believe where four years have gone (well 3 years, 3 months with Little Yang in our lives). As always, I think of his birth parents. I wonder how time, life has moved on for them.
Happy Birthday Little Yang. When I am truly present with you, you give me so much inspiration, and all the motivation I need to be a better (spontaneous, imaginative if slightly embarrassing and/or embarrassed) mother. What more could I want?
Love to hear any of your embarrassing moments and those uninhibited times with kids that delight. Don’t be embarrassed to live life like a kid sometimes.
Linking up with Jess for another IBOT.