The chat and the whinge

Kathy Krugerbalance, motherhood, yinyang9 Comments

Butter wouldn’t melt right!

That face – this adorable face – you’ve probably seen it many times but hey, it sucks you in doesn’t it?

spotty Liam

And lately the chats do too – little snatches on the way here and there, sometimes full-on conversations. They take me to places of sheer joy as I marvel at a four-year-old’s unique perspective on the world, as I swell with pride at his unexpected insights, as I laugh at what he says and the funny ways he says it.

(This about his ‘play-school’ – that would be pre-school – the other day.

Sophie says I made in China boy. So cool.

AND this:

Where the wery wong car?” he asks, at the roundabout near my work where the day before we’d seen the longest limo I’ve ever seen, just presuming it would be back there again waiting for us! As you do.)

Wery funny.

The more he could converse (he’s now quite the chatterbox after a slower start), the less I’d imagined he’d whinge. I’d hoped that, clung on to that prospect, in the midst of major three-year-old meltdowns.

Did I hear you snigger?

Guess what  – well now he just whinges with MORE WORDS and with the confidence of having learned to be a conversationalist!

An expanded vocabulary of whinging – just great (and still the most annoying words ‘Mum’ and ‘I want’, repeated ad nauseum).

And his whine seems to have risen (or maybe that’s my blood pressure) so that it sounds an octave higher, reminding me of the THAT sound of fingernails scratching down a blackboard.

Oh I’m sorry for reminding you too, but hey, you get my desperation.

And so my voice rises, shrill like those mean step-mothers in the movies. I up the decibels to get over the top of him.

I’ve waxed lyrical about my Yin yang yelling before and I’m feeling particularly guilty after reading this Wall Street journal article.

I’m working at it, really hard – trying to follow these tips.

And I have to accept that if I can be an attentive conversationalist with my kids one moment and a screaming banshee sometimes, then Little Yang will alternate between charming chatterbox and world-champion whiner too.

It’s a case of taking the ‘good with the bad’ – for both of us.

It’s a case of taking the ‘bad with the good’ in all our human relationships, in life itself – a Yin yang compromise equation.

And would I trade the sort of chats you can only have with a four year old for a whinge-free life? Well sometimes, but not really.

It’s all good. If that’s how you choose to look at it.

good and bad in the cracks_edited-1

What compromises do you make in your household?

Do you reckon it’s worth taking the bad for the sake of the good?

Linking up with Jess for IBOT, because it’s Tuesday.


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Kathy KrugerThe chat and the whinge

9 Comments on “The chat and the whinge”

  1. coloursofsunset

    I think we take the bad for the sake of the good, but hope against hope that there are far fewer bads than goods? The meltdowns seem to mostly have subsided here, but I find compromise is a big tool in our place! And as much as pre-baby-me would hate to admit – NEGOTIATION! Yes, we do negotiate with terrorists, I mean children, in our house! 😉 I love when they’re starting to tell stories and learn new words, although yes, more words = more talking. We can’t get Mr 5 to shut up some times! And the incessant interruptions and talking OVER us…don’t get me started! Ops, too late! 😉 x Aroha (For #teamIBOT)

  2. Emily @ Have A Laugh On Me

    My 4yo boy is going through the same stage – he can whinge, grizzle and moan like a banshee and it’s all I can take not to lose my shiz… and it’s not even over anything big. Right now I’m not handling it well, my next step is to walk away or I’ll say something I might regret 🙁

  3. Cooker and a Looker

    We’ve been late for school two mornings running, because I’m tired of sounding like a banshee in order to get us out the door on time.
    I lost it in the car today when the Little Sister just kept whining mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, but wouldn’t say what she wanted. I wish I was better at keeping my cool, but it’s not one of my strong points! 🙁

    1. Jules

      Oh I get the mum, mum, mum, mum but guess what? It’s the 14yr old and he thinks it’s hilarious. Then the 4 year old joins in. Is there any parent who can boast of keeping her cool being a strong point, if so let her speak now. 🙂

  4. Lisa@RandomActsOfZen

    Champion yeller here Kathy, but I’m trying to catch myself before I do it! Sometimes they just know which buttons to push, don’t they?
    But, I really don’t think I would trade those chats either. xx

  5. EssentiallyJess

    Definitely worth taking the bad for the good. I need to get better at listening joyfully. Some of the stories my kids tell me are so long, I just get frustrated by them.

  6. Jules

    I didn’t snicker, promise, rather I chuckled rather loudly. I used an egg timer for one child. If they were whiny I struck a deal that they had to go away until the timer rang then they could come and chat. Often that few minutes was enough to both change their whining voice and/or give me time to sigh, grab a cup of coffee and be ready with better listening ears. 🙂

  7. Jude

    Take heart ladies, the whinging, talking, complaining simply gets worse … enjoy this simplistic level of all of this, and understand it is nothing more than greasing the wheels, for what undoubtedly is the worst to come …. puberty/teens. Yes, I am here to tell the tale, but I promise you, barely. How I have not been dragged away in a strait jacket, with a wine bottle in my hand, mumbling & hissing obscenities completely eludes me 😀

  8. Tegan Churchill

    The whinging is all too familiar..mainly because I am trying to read your post while I have one whinging 4 year old in my ear. What is he whinging about you ask? That his tiny teddy only had 1 leg so he didn’t get to bite off 2 legs.

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