With mother’s day approaching I’m contemplating a whole weekend with the kids, all to myself. Yeh! squeaks my inner voice. My outer voice will be more likely to yell in frustration at the kids and curse hubby who could have timed his work shifts better and given me the ‘day off’ or at least some quality family time.
That’s what we all crave – time. Time off from the kids is a guilty (or not-so-guilty) pleasure, mabye even on mother’s day. A friend of mine will be in the same boat, having her three on her own this Sunday while her hubby works. She did however gleefully tell me that she’s getting the best Mother’s Day gift she could imagine – three nights away from the kids (and the hubby) – a girl’s cruise to nowhere (just away right, that’s the whole point). Just a SLIGHT dash of envy that I’m not included in the cruisers.
I do have a yoga retreat ‘treat’ coming up at the end of the month, where I’ll squeeze all the tranquillity I can into two nights in this little prison-cell of a room (all to myself), and a day and a half stretching my body and myself, meditating and mingling with friends and strangers, with walks and wonderful vegetarian food – can you sense I’m salivating already?
I certainly don’t know how single parents do it all the time, for so much of the time, although I have found myself perversely jealous at times of friends out and about, while former partners have their weekend or night with the kids. There’s something very wrong with divorce ever being an answer to needing some free time on your own, but you can get kinda desperate.
Time plays tricks doesn’t it?
There’s time with the kids, and then there’s time REALLY with the kids. Why can’t we make less of the over-scheduled, under-stress, rush home from work, housework-depleted, overwhelmed kind of time and more of the playful, cuddly, adventurous, collaborative and mostly relaxed, peaceful kind of time?
There are always 24 hours in the day, aren’t there? Why is it that the stuff of frustration fills up time until it’s almost all gone while the moments amidst the madness can only be snatched? And when there seem to be so few minutes for peace, why do I want to squeeze in time out, time away, time inside myself?
Why don’t I make more of those moments when Little Yang and I take an excursion to the toilet, he on his bike, or pushing a small suitcase (his latest plaything) or dragging along his cars in a little cart until we arrive at our destination, make a production of peeing and even more of pooing, a second act of washing our hands and then a grand exit on bike, with suitcase or car collection? I must follow him and be an active participant in the whole thing and just try not to count how many times a day – it is after all still a novelty that is now into its fourth month! Sigh.
Why don’t I make more of those moments when Miss Yin decides to experiment with fishtails and braids and whatever other hairdo she wants to do and would happily play with my hair for ages like she did last night? Oh wait, I do rather like that!!
Motherhood is, after all, the time of my life, isn’t it? After all the time waiting and all the loss, it couldn’t be anything else. It comes down to how I spend it, how much peace I find within motherhood, outside of it and within myself. How about you?
My coffee mug at work reminds me ‘Peace is not meant to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart.” Yeh unknown author, so very wise.
So I’ve put together these Mother’s Manifestos – choose depending on your mood. Pink or blue or both really, I guess it is up to you at any given time. Cheers……(linking up with Essentially Jess and IBOT this morning).
PS – I wrote this post after sending Little Yang back to bed because I’m sick of him waking up so early – and it worked!