Three letters can make a big difference – that’s why while it is human to f*** up, it is vital to fail up.
I f##k up a little more often than I would like, but it is not really such a F@!k up unless I fail to learn my lesson.
And I’m human so I do fail to learn my lesson, but all we can do is try right?
My f@#k yesterday was a pretty bad one.
I was madly looking (it is never a good idea to madly look) for a singlet t-shirt with a lotus flower on the front to wear to teach my yin yoga class yesterday afternoon.
I searched in my wire baskets where I put yoga/exercise gear and towels. I searched in the pile of clean washing on the lounge (so much for the below clean impression of our laundry).
I even double-checked the washing line, even though I knew I hadn’t hung it out that morning and it wasn’t in the wet clothes waiting to be hung out.
Mostly I barked at Miss Yin, whose pocket-money job it is to fold washing (but who nearly always has to be cajoled into doing it – hence washing strewn across the lounge).
You see I’d actually bought the same lotus flower singlet top as Miss Yin, from the Myer kid’s section, so we could do yoga together and take some photos and it would be kinda cute (haven’t taken any photos yet to share with you).
I swore (to the universe “Why the f#%k when I (ok hubby and I) have managed to actually get everything in the house washed – miracle of miracles – can’t I find the one thing I want to wear”). And I would have sworn that Miss Yin must have folded my singlet top with her clothes and it was somewhere (or nowhere) to be found in her (messy) room.
“Look, have another look, it must be there,” I exclaimed with frustration, and well let’s face it, blame.
“If I have to come in there and look for it and I find it then I am not buying you any more dance gear ever again,” I added with dramatic flourish and obvious meanness. (In the weakest of defences, she does have a lot of dance gear and is certainly not good at keeping her stuff tidy).
So I huffed and puffed, and started to get dressed, substituting another top (which is hardly a big deal) all the while supposedly preparing to teach a yin yoga class focused on opening the heart chakra and meditating on love!
And then I remembered that I’d left a bag in my car when I’d meant to go take a class and had instead gone for a drink after work – said singlet top was in said bag. Opps.
And I was sorry, very sorry, but what could I do but say sorry.
I can fail up.
Fail Up – own up, pick up, look up
With every parenting fail, and I’ve had plenty – with every failure small and large we can choose to fail up rather than down.
So you stuffed up – you can beat yourself up, go with the guilts, get down and depressed, big-time blame yourself and sabotage your sense of self-worth.
This will only bring the already negative energy further down, spiralling into self-loathing.
Or you can bring your energy back up – own your mistakes, focus on what you will do differently next time, give yourself some self-love rather than judgment and renew your determination.
I’ve written about failure a few times before (it’s an easy topic when you have experience) – I wrote a couple of years ago about the five things you can learn from failure (check it out).
One of those things was self-acceptance – when you fail up and move on you actually succeed at accepting yourself, which is really the place to start for all success.
So with that in mind I taught my yin yoga class – and as the class held the long, restorative postures, fighting their own frustrations and sense of discomfort (or rather surrendering to them), I ‘failed up’ by reminding them about self-acceptance and self-love as the only pathway to love and compassion for all – as the only pathway to living a meaningful life.
(I didn’t write this post on Do You Yoga, but here are some yin postures if you want to work on self-love)
Love is always the answer.
And I gave myself a slap on the face (not literally) and reminded myself too. Linking up with Essentially Jess for IBOT. Do you agree we only fail when we fail to learn (or fail to try)?