So enough already with congratulations and celebrations on the completion of my yoga teacher training (I really do appreciate the kind words I’ve received).
On Saturday I graduated with my cohort of 13 new yoga teachers and it was a nice milestone – it’s up to me how I move forward from what is just the beginning of an exciting new journey.
I wore this new dress (because sometimes you just need a new dress) and I felt pretty good about myself (in a physical, if slightly shallow, non-yogic sense). The dress has a panel cut-out for a peep of midriff (which I reckon is still allowed at my age). It also features a front thigh slit that I ‘softened’ a little by wearing matching black shape-wear shorts that gave the appearance of being part of the dress skirt with the bonus of sucking in wobbly bits (as you do at my age).!
My midriff was allowed to peep out (and the slit was deemed acceptable) because I’ve lost some centimetres and toned my body from lots of yoga of late, and more importantly because yoga has given me the confidence to show a peep of midriff (hey I’m going for the yogini– yogi in a bikini look, for the first time in a very long time this summer). Most importantly yoga has given me confidence.
But still I compare…..
Last week I avoided going to a class taught by two of my fellow new teachers because I was suffering seasickness (sounds like a far-fetched excuse but it was mostly true).
Last night I skipped the first class being taught by two other classmates because, well, I was worried I might want to compare. I didn’t want to come up wanting. And I didn’t want to be all smug (and not yogic at all) by comparing myself favourably either. I told myself that it was too rushed after work (not quite as good an excuse as seasickness) – but really I didn’t want to risk comparison.
So that’s where I’m at, AVOIDANCE. If I don’t look – if I stare at myself in the mirror in the yoga room and don’t dare glance at my mentor who makes a handstand look perfect then I won’t have to compare. I know she’s great. I admire that she’s great. I just don’t have to see how great she is compared to me.
If I don’t think of my friend with the great job, or see another who is happily staying at home with the kids without pressure to work, if I don’t EVER check my FB feed then I won’t HAVE to compare. I won’t be tempted. I’ll kick the habit – just like I did during #ocsober.
And if I avoid opportunities for self-righteous back-slapping (note to self about #ocsober, and dressing up for yoga graduation) then I won’t have to be all smug and non-yogic either.
But that’s not life is it?
It’s not yoga. And it’s not yin yang.
Yoga asks you to sit with your judgment, in non-judgment (what the?).
Yep, just breathe through it, it will pass – all the judging and even the judging yourself for judging!
Yin yang says we compliment each other, that the different parts of ourselves compliment each other, and that we are never made better nor are we made lesser by comparison. We just are who we are, whole and complete.
So I’m sitting on that yoga mat, in AWARENESS, not avoidance – and when I don’t do that, I’m cutting myself some slack.
I’m seeing how my strengths compliment my weaknesses, and how my weaknesses illuminate my strengths – and I’m cutting myself some slack.
Linking up with the incomparable Jess for another IBOT.