The first song on shuffle is Mad Season – I laugh because life feels like that – with work, school, birthdays, the general ‘busyness’ of life, and curve balls coming at me left, right and centre. What season of life is not mad?
Matchbox 20 your are right, ‘I feel stupid…I’m lost and I’m hopeless.’ Well at least some of the time.
Then Missy Higgins grabs me by the throat, or by the hand – she challenges me ‘See’, she sings, ‘now you can steer’! Things might still feel pretty mad around here, but I can steer my way through.
This is the profound sense of control she promises – ‘hold this feeling like a newborn’ – could anything be more precious?
Driving back from a pre-cautionary trip to Lennox Head, concerns about our daughter’s anxiety alleviated at least for now thanks to her resilience – nothing is more precious.
And then suddenly I’m in New York, in a mellow state of mind and Billy Joel is invoking memories, his and my own, our fondness for the big apple. I feel a sense that anything is possible, the power of connection with the whole world. I’m excited and somehow lulled at the same time.
Get back to serenity (Vargo) is a ‘yoga’ track in my mix and the lulling overwhelms after the ‘excitement’ of New York. I’m back in the arms of peace. I’m ‘letting my soul unwind’.
I hear the waves rolling in and my peaceful place has become the ocean as Jack Johnson leads me back – To the Sea.
Then just when I think I’ve left the worries of the world with the tide, Marvin Gaye reminds me that ‘everyone wants somebody to be their own piece of clay’. Why do we do that to each other? And how do we strike the right balance as a parent between trying to mould our children and just being there for our little people as they take shape?
Because, as Meryl Streep reminds me, they slip through your fingers so quickly – her daughter’s character in Mamamia (I have an eclectic music collection!) and Miss Yin in my own trembling hands. She just keeps growing up, my ‘funny little girl’, despite the tears that well in my eyes as I wish she would slow down, and as I know that I should slow down so that I can ‘catch her every minute, the feeling in it’. Hold it precious, like a newborn. Hold Little Yang precious too.
U2’s Pride (in the name of love) comes on and I feel proud of my deep love as a parent and as a partner…’but (somehow) I still haven’t found what I’m looking for’.
Then it is Miss Yin’s song – Carrie Underwood warbling Angels brought me here– ‘it was a long and winding journey…(BUT) my dreams came true’ – it was the only way I could feel when I held Miss Yin in my arms that first time. Amidst the pain, she was the ‘answer to my prayers’. I chose the song for her adoption video. Cue happy tears.
Just when things turn all schmaltzy and sentimental, Neil Young mellows the mood, singing of new possibilities for love, under a Harvest Moon.
And then the late, great Barry White, he of the big bass velvety voice (I did mention I have eclectic tastes) croons and woos me – Can’t get enough of your love baby.
Finally, as we near home, U2 return in an ode to Grace – a woman and a virtue of kindness, elegance, charm and dignity – ‘grace finds goodness in everything’. And I know I need to cultivate the grace to move through life with contentment.
The journey is over (from Lennox Heads at least) and the random shuffle through 379 songs on my IPhone has delivered me so many words of wisdom (and the realisation that my music is a bit all over the place)!
Of course they are all songs in my collection, but somehow the selection was randomly chosen to speak (or sing) to me, with the music I needed to hear, lyrics that could soothe.
This is not the first time I’ve hit the shuffle button on life – I reckon it’s good for the soul. You should try it.
What songs might pop up in your random shuffle selection?
Linking up with My Little Sunshine House Sunshine Sunday, inspired by the theme, music.