Just remember and forget

Kathy Krugercontentment, find your flow15 Comments

It’s pretty simple really – you just need to remember some things and forget other ones. Why then do we forget to remember what we really need to, and fail to forget what we should just let go of?

So this school holidays the kids have been doing a little free-ranging.

Exhibit A.

Play, imagination, improvisation and just the right amount of risk, thanks to the bean-bag.

There has also been some free-range construction – you know the kind of houses and forts built with off-cuts of timber and old pavers (that could at any moment collapse down on an unsuspecting toe) rather than Lego sets built with instructions or virtual worlds created in Minecraft (nothing against Lego and I sort-of think Minecraft is OK, if only it wasn’t so addictive). There’s been a whole lot of helping Dad build the deck and Mum establish a new garden.

Liam deck play

We naturally know how to play – we’re born to it. Only we forget.

We forget a whole lot of stuff we are born to – and then think we are actually getting smarter as we become adults and eventually ‘get wisdom’.

Dr Wayne Dyer (OK I’m slightly obsessing over him since his passing), talks about how we have everything ‘God-given’ to us, without any input from us, in those first nine months in our mother’s womb.

The universal intelligence gets on with the business of working with our parent’s genes to create our physical form, with the spark of divine spirit in us that determines everything from hair colour to personality and sets in place our calling in life – all before we are born.

We’re not busy with worrying about our eye colour or planning the next 90 (hopefully) odd years. And yet we are born, with whatever eye colour nature intended, ready to do everything we will ever want to do. We have within us already everything we need to know.

And then life happens – we are close to nature and we innately play as children but this good stuff is usually ‘learned’ out of us. Even if we still feel close to nature we spend less time in it as the demands of learning and then earning take over – there is precious little time (and often inclination) to play.

Instead we learn to forget. And we learn a whole lot of stuff we should forget – to judge, to compete, to conform, to strive, to judge ourselves – in the name of nurturing our parents (and we as parents) and society make us forget our true nature, and so we lose sight of our true calling. We forget how to find our flow. Plus we also have this strange brain bias to remember bad stuff more than good.

So what should we do? We should jump. We should definitely climb a tree. We should cartwheel. We should definitely get upside down (new perspective anyone?)?!

We should slide down an improvised slippery slide, because life should not be an uphill battle or climb to the ‘top’ but a ride we can only enjoy, especially when skiing down a slope.

We should learn from our children. We should let them teach us.

And you should close your eyes, reflect, meditate on what it is you did as a child that made your heart sing, made your soul soar, stopped time, and left you feeling more alive than ever. And then do that thing (or at least an adult version).

Don’t ask yourself what the world needs, ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go do that. Because what the world needs are people who have come alive.Howard Thurman

And reverse that brain bias and remember the good stuff (this is one of my most popular posts) – I can almost guarantee there will be more of it to remember than bad.

PS – Big kudos to hubby the firefighter (and deck builder), who a few weeks ago was a hero rescuing a woman from a crash down a steep embankment. Then this week he had ‘a day’ that went into the night – a couple of major grassfires and then more than four hours at an accident scene where a man was horribly trapped after crashing over an embankment. Sadly he couldn’t be freed in time and died at the scene. Makes you really want to live by Thurman’s quote.

Hubby helped rescue a woman from this crash

Hubby helped rescue a woman from this crash (image source)

Namaste sign off_edited-1

Linking up for a Friday with Grace for FYBF. Are you in favour of free-ranging? What do you need to forget and what do you need to remember?

Kathy X


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Kathy KrugerJust remember and forget

15 Comments on “Just remember and forget”

  1. Vanessa

    We have a flying box at the beach near us. I love going on it at night, leaning back and watching the stars. Why do adults stop playing? Play is so healthy.

  2. theplumbette

    This post resonated with me Kathy. I had a moment to myself the other night and I looked out the window and I actually wondered when did I forget about the joy of play? The simplest things as a child bring such joy to them… why was I so eager to grow up so soon. When did I lose sight of what I love doing to what I have to do to keep a household running? Why do I find playing with my children now hard? I think it’s a brain thing and I need to reverse somehow and find the joy in the simplest of activities. Thank you for this post lovely. xx

    1. Kathy Kruger

      I’m glad it resonated – I think it does with a lot of people who stop to think about it. There are far too many shoulds and musts in our lives. And I’m with you – playing isn’t easy. I took our two kids plus another two to a big park with a jumping pillow and large playground the other day and I was just this strange observer – the big kids (now 12) pretty much looked after the little ones (5/6) and I was almost unnecessary. Retrain our brains – I think that’s the answer – or turn off our thoughts altogether and just feel.

  3. Michelle Weaver (@pinkypoinker)

    When I was a little girl (a really long,long time ago) I remember lying on a chair in my grandma’s backyard and watching the birds fly over for hours. I’ve never forgotten the experience. It was a special moment in my life. The complete meditative state I was in has stuck with me. I know it wasn’t play as such, but it was stopping and listening to the world. I remember saying to my father later on, “I wish I was a bird” and he replied with, “No you don’t, they’re filthy disease ridden things.” I often think when you look into the eyes of newborns you can almost see the wisdom there already. It’s almost as if they’ve been here before. Beautiful post which has made me feel inspired.

    1. Kathy Kruger

      What a lovely experience watching the birds to have stayed with you all your life Pinky. Funnily enough I used to be made to hose the lawn/garden as a child and I now look back on it fondly for the meditation and ideas space it created for me. I’m glad you feel inspired – and I’m in awe too of looking into the eyes of babies – it is the innocence and knowing at the same time.

  4. Lisa

    I am trying so hard to be present with my kids before they grow up and not want me around. *they are 7,5, 3. I used to lay on our trampoline and look at the clouds, thinking what shapes, animals or objects they looked like.

  5. Maxabella

    I am so with you, Kathy. I agree that we should learn from our children and question why we forget so much about playing and just being. I think that children ironically have more ability to be still than we do! x

  6. Grace

    Oh, Kathy! So much insight in one post! I love that Thurman quote – I’m going to write it down. Your husband is doing amazing work. Please let him know we all appreciate what he does x

  7. moniquetheurbanmum

    Yesterday the youngest and I spent the afternoon at the beach, jumping in the waves, eating ice creams and lying on our towels inhaling the smells of Australian summer – sun cream and salt – I felt like I was a kid again, didn’t give a toss about what I looked like in my bikini and didn’t look at my phone or watch – bliss. xx PS yay to your amazing hubby.xx

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