To change or not to change?

Kathy Krugerchange, contentment, happiness23 Comments

It’s not the rhetorical question Shakespeare’s Hamlet posed but it comes pretty close as a ‘biggie’ we have to work out in life.

I believe that change is a constant (and the universe concurs), yet I find myself drawn to calm contemplation lately. To stillness rather than going somewhere (anywhere?). I’m in ‘yin’ deep reflection mode right now, getting ready for yin yoga teacher training in a fortnight (can’t wait – mmm, not very yin), so I apologise if I’m even more ‘woo’ than usual.

When is stillness good for the soul and when is it stagnation? When is it peace and when is it just procrastination? When are you finding space and when are you simply staying stuck in the same spot??

I love this one, and so did a lot of you when I shared it on facebook.

I’m also reminded of my coffee cup wisdom:

Peace. It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart.Unknown

We recently marked our 20th wedding anniversary (thanks for all your comments of congratulations) and it struck me that what we celebrate is the milestone of a marriage that is enduring, a constant in life (and 20 years is a bloody long time).

Sure we’ve both changed over the years – all successful partnerships will cope with change, but what we celebrate in marking a milestone is not how much we’ve changed but how we’ve remained in love, side by side, constant.

We don’t call it stagnation – we celebrate consistency. Against the winds of change we’ve been able to maintain the wind in our sails, so to speak. We acknowledge our steadfastness as victory over change.

In the months leading up to the big anniversary I slimmed down, thanks to lots of yoga and a nutritional cleanse. But I needed to lose 2-3 more kilograms to fit into my wedding dress. I didn’t quite make it (although I can actually fit into the dress I wore for our 10th anniversary, when I did fit into my wedding dress).

I wore this for our anniversary lunch as part of our romantic getaway (Tallaringa Views was just beautiful).

IMG_1582 small

Of course I’ve aged in 20 years, and it’s probably unrealistic to expect to be the same weight I was as a trim 26-year-old bride. Like most women my weight has fluctuated over the years and I just have to be happy (and I am) with the way I look right now, wrinkles and all. It’s better than the alternative of not being happy (and yoga keeps you stronger as you age, which is the main thing, as I wrote about for DoYouYoga).

When it comes to aging we don’t like to think we’ve changed too much over the years – the ultimate compliment when you see someone you haven’t seen in a long time is to say: ‘You haven’t changed’. Even better to be on the receiving end. But aging, like change, is a constant and is much better than the alternative.

So how do we find that balance between steady and enduring and being too scared or too rigid to change?

How do we find space for nostalgia (eg 20 years ago I used to be a television news presenter) and keep on growing (and challenging ourselves)?

I don’t know whether I know the answers, but I’ll keep on asking the questions periodically on the blog so we can ponder together?

I suspect we let our soul guide us to acceptance and gratitude for where we are now, we stay open-minded while holding firm to our values, we allow ourselves sentimentality for the past and learn its lessons, and we face the future with hope and courage.

We understand there is no definitive answer to the rhetorical question – to change or not to change. Life just IS.

And in 20 years you’ll look back and realise……. (let me know your answer).

Linking up with Essentially Jess for IBOT and Grace for FYBF and joining in Weekend Rewind with Maxabella Loves and Life, Love and Hiccups.

Namaste sign off_edited-1


Kathy X

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Kathy KrugerTo change or not to change?

23 Comments on “To change or not to change?”

  1. JodiGibson (@JFGibsonWriter)

    I’m okay with change. Change is evolution. I’m not so sure about ‘aging’ change though, that is harder to grasp, but I try and see the wisdom I’ve learned as the years go by and the wrinkles and flabby tummy increase.

  2. mettahu

    You ask some great questions. I think that both change and consistency are necessary elements in life, and that each has its own proper place. It’s worthwhile to ask these questions every so often, though, as a way of self-assessment and making course corrections when necessary.

  3. mummywifeme

    I just love those old clips of you. You really do have a great voice for TV, but I think I love the Kathy we know now the best with the calm, happy eyes and the dimples in your cheeks working over time 🙂 I’ve never been to great with change. I’m a bit of a scaredy cat, but occasionally I’ll surprise myself and jump out of my comfort zone. I love those quotes you’ve used above too. Definitely something to think about. #teamIBOT

  4. Stephanie

    I love this line in your post we celebrate in marking a milestone is not how much we’ve changed but how we’ve remained in love, side by side, constant. Congratulations on your 20th Wedding anniversary! x

  5. Lydia C. Lee

    You always change, even if you think you aren’t. From Fables ” The Tide goes in, the tide goes out. We’re always on our way somewhere, even when standing still”. (you look FAB by the way!!)

  6. Rachael

    What a gorgeous blog you have Kathy. Congrats on your 20 years of marriage, it is a beautiful thing that you both have grown along side each other. Love your quote on finding peace – so so true!

  7. Maxabella

    Congrats on 20 good years, Kathy! I missed your anniversary and I’m so happy that you shared it again. As for aging, I have never been one to care much for my appearance, so it really doesn’t bother me in the least from that perspective. Keeping these old bones strong and going is my main interest and I cannot deny that once I hit 40 I have been noticing the years each year!! x

    1. Kathy Kruger

      Thanks! Yoga is great for strength Bron, and yes things seem to get flabbier, while exercise gets harder as the years go on – but wisdom is some compensation.

  8. Sonia Life Love Hiccups

    Change usually bothers me for reasons it shouldn’t.. it’s not that I am against change but something else about it gets to me. lack of control perhaps? Probably… most likely. On another note… hot diggety you are looking sooooo good Kathy. Seriously, I hope you are feeling on top of the world hun because you sure as hell look it xx

  9. Kari Berger

    As I enter the last month of pregnancy (and am still trying to do yoga!), change has been on my mind. I don’t think I’ve ever experienced such dramatic changes in such a short period of time, at least to my body! Some changes are welcome and needed (emotional growth, pregnancy/childbirth, improved communication in a marriage or friendship), some are just a natural part of the passage of time (hello, wrinkles and gray hair!) and some we could probably do without (bitterness, anger, guilt). Navigating those changes hopefully makes us better people in the long run. Happy anniversary 🙂 20 years is a big accomplishment!

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